limboland 11/09/2010
 
I actually stopped the radio on a few Christmas songs on the way home from work tonight.  Crazy, I know. What happened to Christmas songs starting the day after Thanksgiving?  Anyways, it kinda planted a little diddy in my head to the tune of “walkin in a winter wonderland” and it goes - “walkin in adoption limboland.”

What I refer to as our adoption gestation period seems to keep lengthening and rollin on and rollin on.  Gestation is defined as, “to develop slowly.”  Interesting how that is such a prominent message beckoning my patience these days.  More than ever, I have had to learn to live in the moment, to live for the day and press on knowing something just beyond my reach will be reached.  There is no plan I can form, there is no influence I can exert, there is no control within my grasp and there is no finite gestation period for this adoption and upcoming “birth” moment of meeting our new child. 

The gestation message doesn’t end there though.  In the midst of this adoption gestation period, I have also had a mental breakthrough in becoming a runner.  A runner.  Oh my goodness, if you only knew how deep to the core I had convinced myself that “I am just not a runner.”  And yet, a little quiet whisper in my head said, you need to run.  So, I am now into my 6th week of a 7 week plan training to run a 5K and am signed up to run the Sharon Woods 5K next week!  I had never run farther than a mile in my life before this plan.  That I celebrate with a “woohoo”, and yet, in this 6th week, I still am fighting off discouragement that it has not gotten any easier yet.  I have dubbed my muscular discomfort to be “runner’s rigor mortis.”  While I feel more alive than I did 6 weeks ago, I also feel muscles, or lack thereof, 24 X 7.  Gestation.  Muscular gestation is the process I’ve subjected myself to and there is no plan I can form, no influence I can exert, no control within my grasp, and no finite gestation period for this muscle development to hit the turning point of feeling good.  But, of course, I know it will come. 

In this uncertain limboland time of not having a clue of when progress will come to conclusions and when the great celebrations will be in order, I just have to press on and continue forward in faith.  I have to keep my eyes and thoughts continually set toward the vision of what's to come!  Here’s to more prayers for patience in the now and faith in the next!   (the literal next we are waiting for in the adoption is an email from the lawyer with paperwork we can get signed and notarized and sent back for him to take to court in Lesotho)

 
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